Thursday, September 29, 2005

The Stormy Day

There are days when one wakes up to find that they think (think being the operative word here) that they understand the math class they are taking, and enter the classroom (une salle de classe) with complete confidence that they will comprehend all that is being taught. But (mais) to the utter dismay of the student, they find that they are not quite as smart as they thought they were, thus leaving the classroom deject and wretched. (Hamlet refrence)
Before math though, which in some strange dichotomy is a consolation to French, the french is harder than one thought because of two things. 1. there is no homework to turn in. You do all the work outside of class and when you remember/dicipline yourself to do it. 2. It's not in simple language that any poor Joe on the street (yours truly) can understand. Not necessarily dummied down, but simple.
Take French verbs for example. Before you can use them, you must learn to conjugate them, but the instructor doesn't explain conjugate. She writes, je = Je marche, tu = tu marches, il, elle, on, marche. Nous marchon, vous marchez, and ils, elles marchent.
(Yes, I DO have trouble thinking for myself.) The reson for that is I have little to no confidence in the brillance/comprehension and/or actual knowledge of my onw brain. How's that for a schitzophrenic actress?! HA!
I digress. Again.
I have come to understand that being in college is all about thinking for yourself and not expecting someone to spit something you're "supposed" to learn into you brain and have you regurgitate it on a test to see if you "know" the material. That's being indoctrinated. If you question everything and learn what's really true and what's really not true, you're actually being educated. Learning is all about asking questions.
So, my question is, why don't I ask more questions?
Simple. Because I've been humiliated more than once for asking a question and therefore associate it with being stupid, and I'm not brave enough to ask questions now and therefore suffer and complain on blog/journals like this about it.
Oi. I can be pathetic sometimes.

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