Monday, April 7, 2008

Fabric of Life and Times



She was awake, that much was certain, but when it came to actually thinking in an orderly fashion all was lost. Perhaps it was too early? Reaching through the curtains that surrounded her bed her questing fingers finally groped their way to her cellphone. 10am. Not too early, too late. With a groan and several unspoken curses she flings back her covers, twisted and tangled with a listless sleep, and lies there for several moments, eyes closed, smelling her baby blanket. Finally after a moment too many she rises a little unsteady on her feet, to fumble her way to coffee. Her eyes search for the nearest sweater, vest, jacket...and slips one on. Grey with a ship on the back. She makes coffee automatically now, hesitating only to wonder if she has performed the steps correctly.
The phone rings, her cousin on the line, and she lets her brother answer it. Turn out to be for her and through a haze she speaks to her aunt, not her cousin at all. Thus her morning leads into her day determining in it's unofficial way how her day will turn out. Most of her day is spent staring off into space and wondering why. More coffee in consumed, her bedroom is tidied. This changes her previously cynical perspective on the day, altering it to passably pleasant. She still stares off into space and continues to wonder why. Why is her brain so slack? So torpid, sluggish, swollen and lethargic? Where has the wonderment it once possessed gone? Why does it not yearn for learning, plan moments to steal for reading something new, day dream about stories in her head? Has she grown up so much that the child she promised to remain has been orphaned? All of these queries and more ramble through the river of thought in the space of several hours of one day. Now the sun has set, dipping into s northern slumber while the pale sliver of moon casts it's pallid, mysteriously enchanting glow on the uninterested cities. She considers her day and it's not quite so bad after all, there's a new one tomorrow to make up for any deficiencies of today. Her consolation found, she is content to spend her evening reading and listening to raucous music.

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