Friday, April 30, 2010

Time with my Mama (Hi Mama!)

Nearly every Wednesday night I head over to visit my parents and brothers. Sometimes it's all four of them, and I have to dole out my company carefully while other times it just me and my Mama getting to catch up and gab for a while. This week it was spent pouring through a veritable treasure trove of books sent up to us for pleasure and safe keeping. These tomes traveled all the way from Lake Tahoe and were such a lovely surprise. Reading books from 1900, Autograph book from 1880, a much abused math book from 1912 gave my mother and I such pleasure to read over. We would read the best bits aloud to each other, amidst commenting on curious little notions from the different Cyclopeadias, school child scrawlings and treasured signatures from old friends.

This was my favourite.

And then I was blithely commandeered by this young fellow to help with his new "Smoke Bombs" for his on-going project of his Zombie Movie. I assure you (Mom and Dad) nothing actually exploded, but things were rather smoky and loads of fun. It's such a pleasure being a part of the young lives of my brothers. Both boys are becoming young men so rapidly, it's sometimes difficult for me to keep up with what new activities they are doing. Evan is writing scripts and making movies while Levi writes story snippets and bangs out metal marvels on the backyard forge. I am so honored to call myself their sister.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

The MAC Sweater, part 2

Several years ago now, I had grand delusions of knitting up a sweater version of a British Lieutenants jacket circa 1805-ish. It was in the throes of my Master and Commander phase before I really knew what I was doing in terms of designing my own sweaters. Five years later (if not more) I found myself with an okay little sweater, sorely lacking the original vision. I didn't want to rip it back for the millionth time and let it languish for several years more. It wasn't until today, when I was rummaging through my things that I picked it up with notions of just sewing on the buttons to see if that would help. This led to picking up a decorative band along the button edge. It didn't work, and I set to crocheting a picot edging all round, and picking up for cuffs with picot edge. It's turned out decidedly darling with a steampunky feel now and I haven't taken it off since I finished tucking away all the little yarn ends. So finally, the MAC sweater has found it's happy medium and will most likely be worn frequently. Hurrah!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

One Week Ago:
Yesterday marked the first day of having to take medication to treat my depression. As much as I think I'm on the right path and it's the best treatment for me right now, I hate it. I don't want to be sick, yet I am. I don't want to cry because I hurt inside, yet I do. It comes and goes, but when it's here, my black dog gnaws at me and disrupts my regular life and it's time to stop that.
I wake up feeling like I'm in a fish bowl and I go to sleep knowing I will get no rest. Ways to end my life pervade the corners of my mind while I go about my daily routine.
Before you begin to worry too much, let me say that I don't want to die before God calls me home. I have too much to live for. I have promised myself and my fiance that I won't hurt myself any more, I won't cut my hair, I will eat my meals, and I will get help. So I'm taking medication.

It's making me a little groggy, but I'm doing okay. In three weeks I go back for an evaluation to see if this is the right treatment for me. Until then I'm slipping from one day to the next, an insomniac for the most part who is exhausted but cannot find much rest.
If you have a spare moment, pray that I can find a way around this and that I can achieve healing in the end of this journey.

Today marks the day where I up my medication, and rather than keep the negative attitude about it (groaning to myself each time I look at that little pill in my palm) I've come up with a little mantra. "You don't have to take this forever. Just for now, just until you're better." So I want to work harder at fixing this sweet silly self of mine and get to the feeling better part. Soon.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Have you met FrankenBlankie?

So several years back, I discovered I had a plethora of little squares, rectangles, and knitted scraps. As a knitter you cannot throw away this evidence of beginning projects, or bad early knitting. You save it, in that box of shame you keep under the bed. One of those days where you pull out said box and dig through the memories, I had the idea of sewing all these little scrappy bits together. Why not? It would give them purpose and, rather like quilts, keep the story of each scrap out for plain view. For the first incarnation of this blanket I only ended up with one little not-quite-lap-blanket-square. Later another square that created a lap blanket sized piece, but never quite enough for a blanket-ey thing. Until lately. I am working on an afghan (Olive's Afghan from knitalong)and subsequently changed my colour scheme and was left with one slightly awkward pink and chocolate brown bias-knit strip. This was quickly assimilated into the scrap blanket and Franken Blankie was born.
I'll add more to it as more scraps show up, but for now I'm really enjoying looking at the history in stitches as it keeps me warm whilst I read in bed.