Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Oh, hello!

I am not entirely sure what to write except to catch up.  I feel like this space is always catch up.  Spend a month furiously, beautifully writing and the wander off only to return.  I do always do that.  I always return to this space.

I find I have grown in painful, powerful ways this year and I am wanting to document them more and more.
One year ago I began seeing a therapist who finally clicked with me and my needs.  We have done such work, such amazing work that I am in awe of who I was even just six months ago versus who I am now.
I am stronger now, more vocal and better able to verbalise what is going on in my heart and mind.  I am able to head off arguments because they are just ghost fingers from my past.  I am untangling myself and standing straighter than ever before.  I am still pinching myself to be sure I am awake.

In March I began massage therapy school.  So far it's been terrifying (OHGODWHATAMIDOING?) and amazing (I didn't know the body could do that!) and I love it.  In some ways becoming an LMT is a means to an end.  I realized that I dislike being a barista, an office admin, a gopher for someone else's schedule.  I want my OWN schedule that I can adjust as I need.  I want something flexible enough to allow me to have a couple of munchkins.  I also want something that I can show up to, on the good days and the bad days and still enjoy.  So far, massage therapy is proving to be just that.
I have an amazing cohort and don't know if I would have stayed the course without them.  We're cruising along to our half way mark in a few more weeks and it feels like sweet relief.  Next March doesn't seem so far away and daunting.

I would like to try to spend more time in this space talking about things that mean a lot to me.  So I would like to place an easy goal for myself; to blog twice a month.  That is how often I podcast currently and it feels like an attainable goal for the time being.  If you see me in real life, or on other forms of social media, would you please ask me how that next blog post is coming?  I would love your help in keeping on track with this goal and staying accountable.

Much Love,

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